August 5, 2008

Memetastic

So clearly random Google memes are used by bloggers scraping the bottom of the topic barrel, but I'm feeling lazy and curious... Thank, Jay, for the idea - I plugged "Anna needs" into Google, and here are the first ten results.

1. Anna Needs Caffeine. True enough, though never in the form of coffee - only Coke and tea.

2. Anna needs to be excused from class today. Hmm... This reminds me of high school where because of my mom's travel schedule I was allowed to call myself in sick to school. And I didn't abuse that privilege one little bit.

3. Anna Needs A Muesli Bar. Bleh, no, she doesn't.

4. Anna needs to balance out, and find peace without extremes. This is like a fortune cookie. Universally true, thus pretty meaningless.

5. Anna needs verification. Yeah, really. Who goes there? Show me your hall pass.

6. Teen queen Anna needs your help. This is apparently an appeal on behalf of a contestant for the dubious honor of "Miss Teen Queen UK." She needs you to vote for her. You know, before the crystal in her palm starts blinking for Lastday.

7. Anna needs more sleep. Zzzz.

8. Breasts - Anna needs new ones. This is from a plastic surgery ad. I love the way this is phrased, as if they are worn out towels that you need to stop by Bed, Bath, and Beyond to restock. Honey, could you just pick up some new breasts while you're out?

9. Anna needs whatever sense of humour works for her. Wha? Sounds like Anna needs some grammar lessons.

10. Anna needs your attention now. Well, clearly. Who else would keep a blog but someone with a dark hole deep inside that can only be filled with your love.

5 comments:

M. B. Karger said...

This cracked me up - thanks for the chuckle. :)

When I taught creative writing, one of the found poems we wrote involved a Google search of a common phrase and then listing the results as the lines of verse. Fun, random, yet often quite poignant.

Cara said...

I was curious, so I did this with my name. The first hit, a Youtube video, creeped me out so much I fled from Google in a panic. (Do these young girls have any idea what they are doing putting this stuff on the internet? Ack.)

Julie said...

This is too funny. Apparently, we have some of the same needs. My son wants me to do it for him now.

Anonymous said...

(I removed the ones that are uninteresting references to the .avi video format)

1. AVI needs to improve its cuisine to reign supreme.

2. Avi needs to learn to put "http://" before his links.

3. Welcome to Gaia! :: How to Make a Dream Avi ::

4. Three Avi-Cake Sizes Each size of Avi-Cakes has been specifically designed for the nutritional needs of your bird.

5. It was also felt that AVI needs a kind of concrete focal point in Auroville where the energies could flow together.

6. Avi needs to stop this game that he is playing. Be a Mensch.

7. Avi needs a tool to resync it.

8. Sources say AVI needs another $120000 a year in ongoing funding to make that project a reality.

9. [These were all in one] Avi needs to tell me who his guy is. ;) I want to HUG Avi. Someday Avi will give in to her. Avi needs A downer. I want to Play Tekken with Avi

10. Avi needs to write a third book to complete this set to explore how difficult it was to establish a life in a new place.

mwg said...

...and my ENORMOUS love is there for you. thank you for not abandoning the blog and your blog fans.