There was no particularly appealing way to hide those utility doodads, so I decided to accept our contractor's "Let's put a white frame around them!" solution with a shrug, and figured we would eventually figure something else out later. The main complexity was working around the way that the gas meter juts out of the wall a full 3.5 inches, which basically meant that the standard solution of "large art" wasn't really going to work - at least, not off the shelf.
So, now it is later and we have indeed solved the dilemma! I bought stretcher bars, stretched a big canvas over them, made a masking tape grid over it, and the kids and I whipped up... let's say a tribute in equal parts to Mondrian and Joseph's amazing technicolor dreamcoat.
But this is not actually the solution - the key to that lies in the way I framed our painting. I used 1x4 pieces of lumber to construct a basic frame (the kids helped me glue, hammer, and stain the wood!). Then, I attached the painting as near the front edge as possible (inset only 1/4" or so). This left enough space for the gas meter to be hidden behind the canvas. And now our bathroom is a little less factory-chic and a little more rock and roll.
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